Being a Newbie

Recently, several of my friends have taken the plunge and started their own CrossFit journeys.  I'm so excited for them, and I am loving watching them tackle their fears and push themselves to new limits.  Having this shared adventure has brought us closer and given us some mutual suffering to bond over, and I look forward to hearing about their WODs and the new things they've accomplished almost as much as I look forward to my own workouts.  It also reminds me of my own shaky first steps into the wonderful world of CrossFit.  It was a rocky start, to be sure, with lots of stumbles and setbacks, but I was able to learn and grow stronger from each misstep, and my only regret is not starting sooner.

That being said, I remember all too vividly the anxiety of stepping into the box for the first time, the intimidation of feeling like the weak new kid among impossibly strong athletes, and the sheer terror leading up to my first real WOD.

So when I received a breathless and slightly panicked voicemail from a friend after her first WOD two days ago, I could completely relate to her marginally frantic lament: "OHMYGOD ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!  IT HURTS SO BAD!  AHHH... GAHHHHH... my knee hurts, my hands are torn to shit, I couldn't squat by the second round... I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO THIS!!!!!"

I couldn't help but laugh, because I remember feeling pretty much the exact same way several times early on in my CrossFitting adventures.  It's scary.  It's intense.  And above all, it's HARD.

In the beginning, I was fortunate to have a good friend who started CrossFit well before I did, and she was able to give me some excellent pointers on what to expect as I took my first tentative steps into this crazy new world.  But she was already a lifter and in excellent condition when she started CrossFit, so we were coming from very different places.  I kind of wish I'd had a fellow fatty around to give me a heads up on what I was really getting into... coming into CrossFit as someone who had never lifted anything heavier than 5-pound hand weights, and whose idea of exercise used to be stumbling home from the Harmony Inn after a night of serious boozing, I honestly had no idea just what kind of pain I was in for.  I was pretty much blindsided by my first WOD... with no seat belt and no airbag deployment.

Luckily for me, I've since been surrounded by people stronger and wiser than myself, and they have been amazing teachers and role models.  I've learned a lot since August; some of it from excellent advice, some from watching and learning, and some from trial and error (but mostly error).  So I've decided, in honor of my awesome friends who have recently embarked upon their own CrossFit adventures, to compile a list of the best advice I've received/overheard/stolen from the TPA rules board/learned the hard way.  Without further adieu, I present to you:

~Emily's List of Shit I Wish I'd Known~

1) Sorry, dude... it's going to hurt. 

I don't know about everyone else at the box, but it's been over 4 months since I started doing CrossFit, and I can count on one hand the number of days I haven't woken up sore after a WOD.  Maybe other people can put their bodies through hell five days a week and not feel the effects afterwards, but I am certainly not one of them.  I live on a strict schedule of Motrin, ice packs, and heating pads.  Being sore has just become a part of my everyday life.  However, there's good news.  That crippling, debilitating pain you were in for days after your first WOD?  That goes away with time.  I promise... a time will come when you will once again be able to navigate stairs and use a toilet without handicap rails.  Hang in there.


2) WOD through the hurt.

Tammy has given me a lot of truly exceptional advice over the past few months, but the best piece of advice she ever gave me was as follows: the best remedy for post-WOD soreness is to come back and do another WOD.  If you wait for the aches and pains to go away, you'll never make any progress.  And if you give your body too much recovery time between your first few WODs, it's like you're starting all over again each time you go the the box.  I learned this the hard way.  Once I decided to suck it up and drag my achy ass back to the box the day after a tough WOD, I realized that the best way to avoid being crippled is to keep moving.  Seriously.  Try it.


3) It's okay to use weenie weight.

There's no shame in keeping your weight light until you learn the lifts and have a solid understanding of the different movements.  Trust me, I know how mortifying it is to be doing 35-pound thrusters with a training bar when everyone around you is pumping out the prescribed weight and looking badass doing it.  But form is important, and it's hard to learn good form if you're struggling with more weight than you can handle.  (My spinal cord will attest to this, as it is still hating me for my crap form on an overly-ambitious dead lift last week.)  Get it right, get your reps, and then worry about upping your weight.  When in doubt, listen to your coach.  Mine have never led me astray, and are not shy about telling me when it's time to push myself and add weight.  But, more importantly, they are awesome about telling me when they think I'm maxed out.  We pay them for a reason, so take their advice.


4)  Don't compare yourself to the other athletes.

Unless you are some kind of freak of nature, chances are there is always going to be someone stronger, faster, and better than you.  Don't stress it.  It's not a competition.  I used to be super self-conscious about always being the last person to finish a "for time" WOD, or with the fewest number of rounds in an AMRAP WOD, or having to scale more often than not.  But I've learned that it doesn't matter how fast or strong you are, as long as you're giving it all you've got.  You don't have to be stronger than everyone else... you just have to be stronger than you were yesterday.


5)  GET LOW!

So many CF movements and lifts are based on the ability to do a good squat... a fact that I learned rather painfully at the beginning.  I had a hell of a time getting myself to the point where I could consistently get low enough doing air squats, much less front, back, and overhead squats.  But if you half-ass your squats, you're not going to get nearly as much out of your workouts as you will if you do them correctly.  So suck it up, ignore your protesting legs, and get your ass below hip crease where it belongs.  If this is hard for you (because it most definitely was for me)... practice, practice, practice.  For the entire month of September, I did air squats all the time, everywhere, all day long.  At home.  At work.  At the dog park.  In between mile markers on my runs.  Just throw in a few sets of ten whenever the thought crosses your mind.  People will look at you funny, but you'll be amazed how fast your squats improve with practice and effort.  And your legs will look awesome!  Which brings me to my next point...


6)  Your skinny jeans and cute boots will never fit the same again.  Be prepared.

You ARE going to build up some serious leg muscles.  If you're CrossFitting consistently, it is going to happen.  You'll love those muscles when they help you through your last round of back squats in a WOD, but perhaps not so much when your clothes start fitting differently and you have to reevaluate your wardrobe.  Your skinny jeans are going to be EXTRA skinny around your awesome new quads.  This is an unavoidable side effect of being a badass.  You also will most likely develop what we in the 8:30 group at TPA like to call Meaty Calf Syndrome.  This can render your cute tall boots completely worthless.  (Although Maureen, always the innovator, has provided me with a tutorial of her Meaty Calf Clothes Hanger Boot Application Technique... full review to follow.)  Some women may find this frustrating.  I, personally, am kind of in love with my uber-muscular new legs.  And honestly, when you see how smokin' hot you look in heels and a short skirt, you may never want to cover your legs again anyways.  Embrace your inner beast!


7)  You will have battle scars.

CrossFit isn't always pretty.  Your hands are going to develop some pretty funky-looking callouses.  Sometimes they will rip open and leave bloody, gaping holes in your flesh.  You may come home with weird, unexplainable new bruises more often than not.  (I know I do.)  Your shins may look like you had a violent encounter with a machete-wielding garden gnome... this is usually an unfortunate side effect of not paying attention while doing box jumps.  This sport isn't for the vain... or the faint of heart.  But it's totally worth the bumps and bruises and horrified manicurists.


8)  There will be things you hate/fear/suck at.  Do them anyways.

I think everyone has at least one lift, movement, or skill that they just plain don't like.  I have plenty.  For instance, I despise overhead squats, because they are brutally hard and they hurt.  I hate pull ups, because I can't do them to save my life and I find it rather humiliating to still be using a fat black band after 4 months.  I hate handstand push-ups because I have an irrational fear of flipping myself upside down.  And I think just about everyone hates burpees... because burpees are the devil.  But just because you don't like something, doesn't mean you can avoid it.  So man up, get out of your comfort zone, and try something that intimidates you.


9)  Strength in numbers!

Bring a friend.  Make a friend.  Hire a friend if you have to.  Getting your ass kicked on a daily basis is a lot more fun if you aren't suffering alone.  You'll be pushing your mind and body to (and sometimes past) their limits, and you're going to need all the support you can get.  Whether it's peeling you off the floor after a rough WOD, spotting you on a heavy lift, or celebrating with you after a big PR, you're going to want someone in your court.  In my experience, CrossFitters are an awesome, accepting, and welcoming breed... so if you can't drag one of your friends to the box, find new ones when you get there.  Bonus points if they know CPR.


10)  Celebrate the little things.

Nothing is more motivating than making progress.  Sometimes, when things are really going well, progress comes in the form of a PR, taking a chunk of time off of a benchmark WOD, or getting your first unassisted pull up (or so I'm told...).  These are big, awesome accomplishments, but they don't happen every day.  Sometimes you have to let yourself get just as excited about the smaller achievements that you accomplish on a daily basis.  Maybe it's adding ten pounds to a lift, or going to a thinner band for pull-ups, or moving up to a bigger box for your box jumps.  Maybe it's that lightbulb moment when you finally figure out a movement you've been struggling with.  Maybe it's something as small as getting an inch lower on your squats or shaving a few seconds off of your 500m row.  Some days, it may just be getting through the WOD without puking... or, depending on how bad the WOD is, at least managing to get outside before puking.  Whatever it is that you've accomplished today, celebrate it.  Progress is progress, and as a wise friend from the box once told me, the little things add up to the big things.  There is no better feeling than realizing that, two weeks ago, your body couldn't do what it just did.  So whether you added 50 pounds to your old dead lift PR, or moved up from a 12-pound wall ball to a 14-pounder, get excited about it!  Every step, no matter how small, is a step closer to your goals.


11)  Check yo'self out.

This is going to sound ridiculous, and perhaps it is, but I'm serious... once a week, take a few minutes out of your day and log some time in front of the mirror in your skivvies.  Feeling progress is awesome, but seeing progress can be even more satisfying.  You'll be amazed by how fast your body changes when you start CrossFitting consistently... muscles will pop up that you never knew you had (just last week, I discovered my traps... and they are glorious!), some places will shrink while others grow, and before you know it, your body will be getting leaner and meaner right before your very eyes.  Take the time each week to acknowledge these changes.  It will make you feel awesomely accomplished.  And perhaps the next time you want to eat McDonalds or skip a WOD to sleep in, you'll remember how good it feels to see changes happening in the mirror, and it might help you to make better choices.  Or maybe it will just make you feel awkward for standing in front of the mirror naked.  Don't judge me, damnit.


12)  Your non-CF friends won't get it.

Undoubtedly, you will, at some point, find yourself babbling excitedly about your most recent accomplishment at the box, only to realize that the only response you are receiving is a completely blank stare.  I know this stare well.  It's the "I don't know what the hell you're talking about but I'll nod my head and pretend to be listening even though I zoned out ten minutes ago and am now thinking about my grocery list" stare.  I get it all the time.  Some of my more polite friends will feign interest and occasionally ask questions, but for the most part, they just wait patiently for me to shut up so we can talk about something they actually care about.  Some of them have gotten to the point where they'll just tell me to shut up.  This does not offend me in the least... I don't expect all of my friends to understand, appreciate, or even care about my tales from the box.  I've learned to try to reserve my CrossFit talk for my fellow CrossFitters, and you might want to do the same.  If you had a great WOD and want to talk about it, and you spouse/significant other/bestie gives you an eye roll as soon as the words "Guess what I did at the box today?" come out of your mouth, just stop right there and give me a call.  I'll listen to your stories all day long, and probably tell you a few of my own.  Those of us who love it, can't talk about CrossFit enough.  Those who don't get it, probably don't want to hear about it.  Until you start talking about how awesome your snatch looked this morning... that might catch someone's attention.


13)  Learn to laugh at yourself, and don't be afraid to look ridiculous.

Because you totally will.  You will screw up, and fall down, and roll around awkwardly on the floor at times, and let's be honest... everyone looks ridiculous doing Angry Gorillas.  I don't care how badass you are, they just look absurd.  Don't be self-conscious.  Screw-ups happen all the time, more often to me than most people (just today, I almost dropped a kettlebell on my head... Tammy looked a bit panicked for a second, but I managed to get my grip back and no skulls were broken)... but I like to think that everyone does something ridiculous-looking every now and then.  You just laugh and keep going.  If you fall down, don't sweat it; just get up, dust yourself off, and get back to the WOD.  Chances are everyone else was too busy trying to get through their WOD to see it anyways, and I can tell you from experience that coaches (mine, at least) are kind enough to not laugh at you... at least, not until after you leave the box.


14)  Take rest days.

This is the part where I become a total hypocrite, because I am notorious for NOT giving myself days off (and am scolded for it constantly by one Miss Alexis Layne Shaffer).  But then again, I am an addict to the point of needing a 12-step program, so do as I say and not as I do.  You're going to be putting your body through hell, and it needs time to recover.  Listen to your body.  Know the difference between normal post-WOD aches and a legit injury.  If you hurt yourself during a WOD, stop.  (Again, I am being exceptionally hypocritical here, because just last week my coach had to tell me to stop after I jacked up my back because I was so determined to keep going... and I was so mad about not finishing the WOD that I actually cried.  But I'm glad she stopped me, because not finishing one WOD is better than missing weeks worth of WODs because you seriously injured yourself.)  If you're sick, stay home and recover.  Do NOT show up for a WOD when you have mono, haven't eaten in 3 days, and spent the last 3 nights at work infusing yourself with IV fluids because you can't keep down water... because your coach WILL kick your ass out of the box and tell you to come back when you can eat solid foods.  (Not that I would EVER try something so dumb... oh, wait...)  Be smart.  Or, at least, be smarter than I am.  Or, if you're not smarter than I am, find a coach who is, and listen to them.  The box will still be there tomorrow, and if you miss a WOD, it's not the end of the world.  There will be an equally horrific one awaiting you the next day.

15)  If your WOD includes jump ropes, pee before you start.

Just sayin'.  You'll thank me later.


16)  Eat something.

Don't try to work out on a totally empty stomach.  In my experience, this leads to almost passing out.  Even if it's just a protein bar, eat something a few hours before you head to the box.  This is not to say that you should enjoy a four-course meal immediately pre-WOD... this will increase your pukage likelihood by a factor of ten.  But some sort of small meal or snack a few hours out is essential.


17)  Don't cherry-pick your WODs.

Some boxes post their WODs on a website or Facebook page, so you can know what to expect ahead of time.  Don't choose which WODs you want to do based on which ones sound the least horrible. If all you focus on are your strengths, your weaknesses will always be weak.  The only way to stop sucking at something is to do it as often as possible.  And as tempting as it is, don't shy away from high-rep WODs.  I know that 100 of anything just sounds cruel and impossible, but it's doable.  Case in point: my awesome friend Rebecca went to her first post-Elements "big girl" WOD last week, and it was Angie: 100 pull ups, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and 100 air squats.  Not only did she do the WOD, but she ROCKED it!  You just keep plugging along, and come out stronger on the other side.  Don't avoid these workouts. Personally, I prefer NOT to know what the WOD is... I like the element of surprise of walking into the box and knowing that the whiteboard holds my fate for the day.  Plus, if I had known we were doing Angie last week, I probably would have wimped out and taken a strategic rest day.  Sure, she was a horrid bitch and I hated her, but I felt pretty badass after I got through with her.  Again, try the things that scare you.  You just might surprise yourself.


18)  Day 2 post-WOD always sucks the worst.

The day after an especially brutal WOD can be painful.  The second day after said brutal WOD, for me at least, is always ten times worse.  So if you're not terribly sore the day after what felt like a killer, don't get too excited.  It's coming.  Day 2 is a bitch.  Plan your life accordingly.  Ibuprofen is your friend.


19)  Embrace the suck.

Starting CrossFit is hard.  And guess what?  It stays hard.  If you're banking on the WODs getting easier with time, you are delusional and should go back to Zumba, because this shit will NEVER be easy.  It isn't supposed to be easy.  The WODs will always suck.  The suck is what makes it great.  Embrace it, and come to terms with this simple fact:  It never gets easier.  But you do get better.


20)  DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!

You will have bad days.  You will have days when everything feels horrible and you can't seem to get anything right.  You will have moments where you are absolutely convinced that you can't possibly do one more rep without collapsing.  There will be times when you want to quit.

DON'T.

Don't ever quit.  You CAN do this.  It won't always be fun and it won't always be pretty, but you can handle it.  Shrug off the bad days, push through through the tough moments, get in that last round.  YOU are the one who chooses whether you will succeed or fail.  Choose to succeed.  It really is that simple.  You will be absolutely amazed what your body can do when your mind won't let it quit.  In the words of A.A. Milne: "You must always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."  (Yeah, I just quoted a Winnie the Pooh book in reference to CrossFit... go ahead.  Say something.)  YOU CAN DO THIS.  You just have to want it badly enough.  When you feel like you don't have anything left, prove yourself wrong.  Find your strength.  Push through.  You won't believe how good it feels.  And don't worry... you'll pass out before you die.  So keep going.



I hope some of you find this helpful as you embark on your new and exciting CrossFit journeys.  To all of my friends who are just starting out, are thinking about starting out, or are early in their journey and already kicking ass... please know that I'm so proud of you, inspired by you, and cheering you on every step of the way.  I can't wait to hear all about your many future accomplishments, and I hope you love this amazing world of CrossFit as much as I do.  WOD on, buddies. :-)