Haters, excuses and priorities

We're quickly approaching the one-year anniversary of the fateful February day when I stepped on a scale, bought my running shoes, and hit the pavement for the first tentative steps of what has become the craziest journey of my life.  Over the past 357 days, I have received an overwhelmingly tremendous amount of support from the vast majority of the people in my life.  Every step of the way, I've had amazing friends by my side, cheering me on and pushing me forward when I wanted to quit.  This year has truly restored my faith in mankind in a way that I never thought possible, and I am immeasurably grateful for the kindness and encouragement that I've received from so many.

That being said... there are a handful of people who have not been so supportive.  They are few and far between, but they're out there.  Some of them are overweight friends who seem a little bitter about the fact that I've left their ranks.  Some are athletic people who supported me in the beginning but now seem to resent my progress.  Some are friends who seem a little hurt by the fact that my workout schedule and healthy lifestyle have cut into our previous pastimes of beer drinking and fried food consumption.  And some people are probably just sick and tired of hearing me talk about CrossFit.

I can understand where all of these people are coming from, and I don't hold it against them.  The truth of the matter is, any time you make a lifestyle change as drastic as mine, not everyone is going to be on board with the "new you".  Throughout this year of shrinking, there's been a lot of growth.  And the sad but inevitable has happened: I've grown away from some of my friends.  I don't take it personally, and I hope they don't, either.

But there is one breed of hater that I take very personally: the ones who question and/or belittle the validity of my accomplishments.

On Tuesday, I was at a monthly committee meeting at the hospital.  Since I only see these people once a month, they notice the changes in my body more drastically than the people who see me every day, so there is always some commentary.  Usually this commentary is of the supportive variety.  However, this week, someone I barely know had the balls to ask me a question that completely caught me off guard:

"Are you sure you didn't have gastric bypass surgery?  Because it kind of looks like you did."

Now, I know that this rumor has floated around.  And I know that 119 pounds of weight loss in a year is pretty drastic, so I can see where people might be suspicious.  And one other person has asked me directly if my weight loss was surgically accelerated.  But the way this person asked was more of an accusation than a question.  And it pissed me off.

It saddens me that, in this world of short cuts and quick fixes, it is so hard for people to believe that results really can be achieved by the good old-fashioned method of sweat, will power, and hard work.  Everyone is looking for the magic pill, the easy delivered-to-your-door diet, or the surgical procedure to make their fat disappear and their lives better.  And you know what?  That's fine.  I don't judge.  I think that any step towards a healthier lifestyle is a step in the right direction.  But it's not the step I took.  Anyone who knows me at all knows how hard I've been working, how much I've given up, and how many challenges I've faced along the way.  I don't regret a second of it, and I wouldn't trade this journey for any quick fix.  To have a random acquaintance question all of that is not just irritating... it's downright offensive.

I responded politely, explaining that, while I believe that gastric bypass is an acceptable path for some, it was not one that I was ever willing to consider for myself.  I told her that my weight loss was the result of good nutrition, a healthy lifestyle, and a lot of exercise.  I gave her a short run-down of my work-out routine: 5-6 days a week of CrossFit, 3-4 runs a week, 2-3 yoga sessions a week, and whatever else I can squeeze in.  (And I might have discreetly pushed up my scrub sleeves and given a little gun show while pretending to stretch.  Find me the bariatric surgeon who can give me those, Hater McHaterson!).  I finished my spiel, feeling satisfied for taking the high road and swallowing the many snarky comebacks that had been on the tip of my tongue.

Her response?

"Wow.  You're so lucky.  I could NEVER find that kind of free time."

Gah. GAH!

I get comments like this a lot, although usually phrased in a far less offensive way.  I can't tell you how many times well-meaning people have told me, "That's amazing.  I'd love to do what you do.  But..."  And the "but" is inevitably followed by one or more reasons why they "can't" embark on their own weight loss/health/fitness journey.  They don't have time.  They have kids.  They work too hard.  They just don't have the energy.  They can't afford it.  I've heard a million different reasons why people "can't."  And it drives me crazy.

Not because I haven't been known to make excuses.  I spent most of my life coming up with excuses for being overweight and not making healthy lifestyle choices.  I was a champion excuse-maker.  But what irks me if the implication that, since I have made choices and changes, I clearly must have more time/less work/fewer responsibilities/more expendable cash/a much easier life that has allowed me the time and energy to do so.

Let's get something clear: I don't have the time... I make the time.  I have the same responsibilities as everyone else: a full-time job, a husband, a house to maintain, a mortgage and a car payment to pay, a menagerie of spoiled rotten animals who demand my attention, and a desire to maintain some semblance of a social life.  I'm as busy, worn out, and stretched thin as the next person.  The changes I've made in my life have not been the result of a "lucky" abundance of time, energy, or funds... they've been the result of hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and self-discipline.  Luck has very little to do with it.  Busting my ass has everything to do with it.

The truth is, I could still come up with a million excuses to skip a workout or fall off of the health food wagon or return to my old sedentary lifestyle.  And some of them would be pretty valid excuses.  But the cold hard truth is this:  If it's important to you, you'll find a way.  If it's not, you'll find an excuse.  I've made my health my #1 priority over the past year.  I certainly don't expect everyone to do the same, or judge people who don't.  But every time I hear someone tell me, "That's so nice that you can do that.  I wish I had the [time/energy/money/whatever] to do something like that," it makes me want to scream.  I'd like to address some of the most common excuses people make (and that I've admittedly made in the past) for not making healthy lifestyle changes, along with all the reasons why they are (and I was) full of crap.

1)  "I don't have time."

Far and away the number one excuse I hear.  Too many things to do, not enough hours in the day.  Well, folks, let me fill you in on a little secret: healthy people have the same 24-hour day as you.  We all have other shit going on.  I don't know anyone who sits around all morning thinking about what to wear to their workout and spends the entire evening relaxing and recovering.  Everyone at the box works out on the way to or from something, whether it's work, kids, or other obligations.  We have lives, too.  We just choose to adjust those lives to make time for exercise.  Some days it works out better than others, but there's always a way to find that one hour of your day to be active, if you want it badly enough.  Wake up an hour earlier, or go to bed an hour later.  Work out on your lunch break.  (Unless, like me and most in my profession, "lunch break" is somewhere near "unicorn who shits gold" on the list of things you never have any hope of seeing.)  Skip American Idol or whatever stupid TV show you'd never confess that you like to watch in the evenings (admit it, you have one.  We all do) and go use that hour to hit the treadmill.  Skip your nap.  Skip happy hour.  Skip something if you have to... sometimes you have to make sacrifices to achieve your goals.  That's life.  Do I miss getting sleep between night shifts?  Yep.  But I choose to give up some of that sleep to have time to go to the box in the morning after work.  I choose to go to yoga and stretch out my sore CrossFit muscles rather than meet up with friends for dinner and drinks.  I choose to get up early and go for a Sunday morning run instead of sleeping in and spending a lazy Sunday morning in bed.  Fitness is a choice you make... not just once, but every day.  If it's not a choice that you wish to make, that's fine.  But don't blame a lack of time.  The fact of the matter is, a one-hour workout is 4% of your day.  According to recent statistics, the average American spends close to 20% of their day in front of a television.  Think about it.

2)  "I don't have the energy after a long day at work."

This one hits especially close to home for me.  I work 12-hour night shifts, usually without a break and sometimes without a chance to pee, much less eat a snack, in a stressful environment where a mistake could quite literally kill someone.  After three of those in a row, often with little or no sleep in between, do you really think I'm well-rested and well-energized?  Hell no. I'm usually dragging ass and half asleep when I arrive for my 8:30 WOD.  But I go anyways.  And you know what?  I have way more energy after my workout than I did before it.  Being healthy and active actually gives you energy.  And if you reeeeally can't stomach the idea of hitting the gym or lacing up your running shoes after work, get moving before work.  The 5:30am WODers at my box are a bunch of super-badasses who manage to kill a ridiculously brutal workout before most of us are even hitting the snooze button in the morning.  And they're not waking up at the asscrack of dawn and doing warm-up runs in the dark just for the hell of it... they have jobs to get to just like everyone else.  It can be done.  Again, it comes down to priorities.

3)  "I'm too busy because I have kids."

Now, here is an excuse I can't personally speak for.  I don't have children, and I can only imagine how much having them would complicate one's daily schedule.  Hell, I can barely find time to spoil my horse and take my overly-attached dogs to the puppy park most days.  But I do know that the vast majority of the people at my box and in my run group have children, and it doesn't stop them from doing what they do.  They just have to plan better.  I can give you so many examples of people who blow this excuse out of the water, but the one that comes to mind immediately is my friend Jessica.  Jess is a single mother who works two jobs, is in school for her BSN, is very involved in her child's life (coached cheerleading, etc.), and last year, trained for and completed her first half marathon.  If that's not a busy life, I don't know what is.  But she didn't let that stop her from accomplishing her goal.  Jess was one of my primary inspirations when I first started running.  Every time I came home from work in the morning and wanted to take a nap instead of going for my run, I would think to myself... "Jess worked 12 hours last night, too.  And she has a kid to feed and get on the bus.  And she has a paper to write.  And I know she's still finding time to run.  What's my excuse, again?"  I can't tell you how many times this thought got my whiney ass out on the pavement when it wanted to be in bed.  I was so impressed and proud of her when she finished that half marathon... not just because a half marathon is pretty badass in and of itself, but because she set her mind to something and then did it, despite a million other priorities fighting for her time and attention.  She had a whole arsenal of excuses at her disposal, but didn't use them... instead, she made the choice every day to work towards that goal.  And I give her mad kudos for that.  My point?  Obviously kids take priority over exercise.  That's a given.  But plenty of people are able to juggle the two, along with many other priorities, just fine.  IF THEY WANT TO BADLY ENOUGH.  (Are you sensing a theme, here?)

4)  "I can't afford a gym membership."

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  We all have bills to pay.  Life is expensive.  I know this.  And I know that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have a decent-paying job and a steady income.  But if you eat multiple meals out every week, pay a small fortune to tan/get your nails done/get your hurrr did on a regular basis, have all of the latest fun tech toys, and still say you can't afford a gym membership?  I declare bullshit.  You can afford it... you just choose NOT to afford it because there are other things you'd rather spend your money on.  And that's okay!  I'm not judging.  I'm merely pointing out that, if you really wanted to join a gym, you could cook more meals at home, or do your own nails, or limit yourself to one iPad.  Again, it comes down to priorities and sacrifices.  My husband and I are foodies.  We love to go to nice restaurants, try new food, and drink good wine.  But we've drastically cut down on our meals out because we have things we'd rather do with that money now.  Dinner for two and a bottle of wine at Monterrey Bay easily covers a month of my unlimited CrossFit membership.  I'm not going on a vacation this year because I'd rather spend that money on race entry fees.  I have yet to replace the vast majority of my fat girl wardrobe (i.e. I wear the same two pair of jeans and three shirts all of the time because nothing else fits me) because it's more important to me to have properly-fitting and high-quality athletic gear.  I've made sacrifices to do this... but somehow, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice because it's what I love and what I'm passionate about.  Priorities.  Priorities.  Priorities.  And, if you're not willing to give up your weekly dinner indulgence or your pricey keratin treatments, it doesn't cost that much to buy a pair of running shoes.  And it doesn't cost anything to use them.  Just sayin'.

5)  "I'm not fit enough to do what you do."

I get this response ALL THE TIME when people ask me about my workout routine and I invite them to come try CrossFit with me.  Everyone says they couldn't possibly do all of the things we do at the box, and that they'll need to get fitter before they try any of our "crazy stuff."  I could come up with a witty response, but Tammy put it best when we were discussing this yesterday: "Getting fit to go to CrossFit is like eating four sandwiches before you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet."  LOVE THIS, and it is so true.  You go to CrossFit to GET fit... you don't get fit to go to CrossFit.  End of story.  I think I established earlier in this blog that anyone with drive and cajones can do CrossFit.  And if getting your ass kicked in an unthinkably brutal way isn't really your thing, there are a million different kinds of exercise you can do... you just have to find what you love and roll with it.  But you have to start somewhere.  If you wait until you feel like you're "fit enough" to start an exercise routine, you'll never get started.  You just have to jump in.  And you have to want it.


I could go on with the excuses and my responses to them, but the general theme is always the same: if you want anything badly enough, you'll figure out a way to make it work.  If someone told you they'd pay you a million dollars to exercise every day, I can assure you that you'd find time for that.  For me, the benefits of my new lifestyle have been priceless.  It's all about finding what motivates you.  It's about prioritizing, being willing to accept sacrifice, and finding a way regardless of what else life throws at you.

I know that there are some people who legitimately do not have a life that allows them to exercise and pursue a fitness routine.  And I know how very blessed I am to have a supportive husband, relatively flexible job hours, and the physical and financial resources to do what I do.  But I also like to think that, even without those things, I still would have found and followed this path.  And I also know that, for every person I've met who has a legitimate excuse, I've met twenty people with bullshit excuses.  Some people really don't have the time, funds, or physical capability to work out... but most people just don't have the desire.  And there's NOTHING wrong with that.  But accept some responsibility.

Is being a workout-obsessed health nut a lifestyle that everyone wants? Obviously not.  Is it a lifestyle everyone should want?  Hell no.  Not everyone else is as weird as I am.  If working out isn't your thing, there's nothing wrong with that.  If you have no desire to be more fit or weigh less, that's okay.  It's not for everyone.  We all have our priorities.  If working out isn't one of yours, that's cool.  I won't judge you for it and neither should anyone else.  But OWN IT.  Admit that it's not something you are willing to commit to at this time, and that you simply have other things in your life that are more important to you.  Abandon the excuses.  And for the love of God, don't patronize me by implying that the success of my fitness journey is a result of luck, or unlimited time and funds, or limited responsibility.  Because I (quite literally) worked my ass off to be where I am right now, and I'm damn proud of that.  I refuse to let my accomplishments be belittled by anyone, regardless of how many excuses they have or how "lucky" they think I am.

This goes for everything in life, not just fitness.  Changing your life is never easy.  Anything worth doing is going to require dedication, sacrifice, and a serious level of commitment.  You just have to decide if change is worth it to you.  Then you either do it, or you don't.  It's that simple.  If it's worth it, find a way.  If it's not, don't.  But don't belittle or make assumptions about those who choose to pursue that change.  And whatever you do, don't go around telling people how "lucky" they are for having the courage and motivation to change their lives.  Luck wins $10 on a scratch-off lottery ticket.  It won't get me my pull up.  It won't help me RX Fran.  And it sure as hell didn't make 119 pounds disappear into thin air.

*End Rant.*

In other news, I PR'ed this week on both back squats and front squats, and had some very painful (but admittedly helpful) hang clean immersion therapy that I somehow managed at the prescribed weight (although it sure wasn't pretty)... and I survived so many burpees this week that I can't help but wonder if I've somehow managed to offend Tammy and am being punished for something.

This facial expression pretty accurately describes how I feel about burpees.

As does my very appropriate "I HEART BURPEES (said nobody ever)" shirt.

Maybe it was this choice of attire that has earned me a week of burpee purgatory?

I also am continuing to make progress on my pull ups by practicing a little bit every day after the WOD.  I can now do them consistently with the green band and can get a few with the red band.  I feel like my unassisted pull up is coming.  I don't know when it will make its debut appearance, but I feel like it's close.  I'll keep ya posted.

Look, Mom!  No black band!

I'm also in the process of setting up my 2013 race schedule, which is looking pretty daunting but very exciting.  I'll post it within the next few days, so if anyone wants to join me for any or all of them, that would be badass.  If you are doing or thinking about doing any cool races that I should know about, please fill me in.  The more races I have lined up, the less likely I am to bitch out on my runs over the next few months, which will hopefully prevent me from dying during the half marathon and/or Tough Mudder.  And if anyone is game for a 6-miler on Sunday morning, please let me know.

That's all for now, folks.  I'm so sore I can barely type, and I'm looking at another long, short-staffed night in the ER.  Wish me luck... and WOD on. :-)

One more super-hot facial expression... my parting gift to you.